Somewhere things have got disconnected. Every moment, every minute, every day, every year I am getting more disconnected. Though I am not sure from where I am getting detached but the feeling of getting away from something deepens every time. Things that were close by has moved away or is it that I have moved away – can’t figure what moved but there lies a vast vacuum. Today I find myself close to my career and personal goals but far from where my heart wanted to be. The dreams of childhood remained unrealized as if they were some figment of imagination. Growing up, every small dream was beaten to shape by the earthy realities and circumstances. Now I don’t dream, I try to move on with life as a unmanned boat in a river.
Not that my dreams were shattered, not that I am unhappy and not doing great, but as it happens every success brings with it some sense of discontent and leaves space to want more. More one gets the more is needed; it’s not just a fluke that ‘Yeh Dil Maange More’ is such a hit amongst young masses. In a fight to move forward, the destination has become important, the means or “how” becomes impertinent. Sometimes we even forget from where we origin.
In a society where, couple of decades back, people was strongly culturally bounded, the human touch is dissipating every instant and the electronic way is coming in. Everything is replaced to a faster but shorter, easier but costlier, sweet but erasable mean. To start with phone calls had replaced letters, then emails replaced the phone calls, and now emails are getting replaced by Short Messages. In the whole process we save more time, spend more money and write/speak less. And the last aspect is most concerning. The individual in us is growing bigger and the social self is made to non-existent. Wonder if the social world was so complex ever before or whether people got time to think about all these. Kids these days play with Xbox and whatever high tech games, gone are the days when they spent their days and weekends with the grannies!!
But on the contrary this change cannot be ignored and this is the obvious. This is what the whole world is crazy about. This is what the whole world is working on, making money from and investing money in. This are the things that makes the today’s world a better place to live in compared to the days spent by our fathers. It’s not that the modernization that’s making people’s mind narrower, it cannot be that with options in hand people only opt for things that help each individual and not for everyone. May be God’s greatest creation is losing the edge as they created and are now behaving like their greatest creation – machines!!
When I look back, I lost more than I gained perhaps I gained in social and financial status but some where down the line I see I got disconnected from my childhood, then from my school days, then college days, then bachelor days... married life... but as it turn out every next phase was faced with more apprehension and every treaded path became even more precious. Only after moving on to the next phase I realized what I missed in the passing phase. As years passed by I not only got older but also moved closer to the ultimate. And now as every step I take towards eternity, I try to connect the pieces that fell apart when I was driving on the fast lane to beat my own shadow. Sometime I feel I was trying to win a single player game but still lost. To keep pace and be in the race, today I am stranded alone. I sit and try to recall the small things which I used to love, my childhood friends are lost, they lost the race long before.
So where did I go wrong or did I?
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
JOB v/s WORK
Most people (I have interacted till now) confuse and interchangeably use these words. When I say most, it means most of the people whom I have talked to. Even if we know the meaning of these words, do we really understand and are able to correlate it to our lives? Hopefully Yes but mostly No. According to purists, Job is the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money and the principal activity in other words is also a Work. On the other hand, Work is an activity directed toward making or doing something, so is work something we do out of interest without the expectation of any result? Now I guess it more evident why it is always a Job Description and not a Work Description when it comes to Companies and firms. But does the difference end here or it’s just the tip of the iceberg?
I have never liked my Job I am doing (according to many, it’s a good job), somehow I don’t feel connected. On the contrary, I cannot afford to relax and in turn loose the job. Like most of us that’s my sole source of income. Very few of us like our job or atleast dislike how the job is being done. Everyone wants a change, a change for better. So how about doing some work, something where effort and dedication is valued and treasured and results are not the decisive parameter? Will that generate interest and more importantly what work will that be? Can we afford to do something which takes out time of our hectic lives and return nothing? Why do we do these if we are not paid? In these times of socio-financial competition, where share markets are booming with public issues, where new firms are launched to generate more investments, where plans for retirements are big hits in young people, where offers are decided on basis of the zeros isn’t it a way of loosing the track, loosing focus and faltering when its times to move ahead?
During Bhagawad Gita days, it was
“Karmaneva Adikarasthe Mapaleshu Kadachana makarma phalehetubhoo masangostu akramani”
means “you have the power to act only, you do not have the power to influence the result, so work without anticipation of the result and without succumbing to inaction”
But how much do we care for these, and how much does this stand true in today’s world? What is the word “Karma” referred here or used in Karma Yoga prescribed by the Vedas relate to? Is it our job which though we don’t like but we do to and get paid to arrange means of life, or is it the work which interests us but doesn’t guarantee monetary benefits? If it is the Job we are doing in our daily monotonous life, then why are we all for better packages and bonuses, designations and positions?
Karma is the Work, we do (or don’t do) to revive our inner self. Too much simplified? I guess it is. It’s hard to put it into my words as many great preachers and real teachers have talked extensively about it and still left lot to ponder upon. Reviving ourselves or rejuvenating our senses or recharging our souls is as important as it is to live. Without that we would just survive through and die before our deaths. Bottomline is, we are not doing any work, and our job is only feeding out body. Our souls are starving!! Have you ever tried giving alms to a beggar? Many of us do and feel good about it. I remember when I was a kid, my grandma used to put a coin in my hand to give it to the beggar. Now I realize the reason behind. Certain small things give more pleasure than some big achievements.
That’s the crux which has given birth to so many spiritual leaders and subsequent institutions. They preach and teach the age old stuffs which we read but never learn which we listen but never practice. And we, till date who were only focused on achieving and conquering whatever came our way, busy in pushing our way to the top, engrossed in dissolving ourselves in earthly social things to become so-called successful, suddenly feel relaxed. We feel content and our senses start sensing more and we start smelling the flowers, enjoying the colors and feeling the air.
Focused in achieving and making life bigger we are missing the basic ingredients that can make our life better. Striving for earthly and materialistic success we are blinding us from the simple and pure beauty of life. Sometimes we are so much into achievements that anything less becomes a failure. Every time we fail, we aim again for higher goals and we are getting habituated to this achieve-all funda of life. In today’s world, success is judged by ones credentials, assets and achievements but not happiness. Interestingly, both are right, nothing is wrong, it just a perception to lead a happy life and to which every one of us have a right. However, having said all these, there is a bigger truth; happiness, self-content rises from bottom. So if the stomach is happy then only the heart can smile and mind can think to work.
I have never liked my Job I am doing (according to many, it’s a good job), somehow I don’t feel connected. On the contrary, I cannot afford to relax and in turn loose the job. Like most of us that’s my sole source of income. Very few of us like our job or atleast dislike how the job is being done. Everyone wants a change, a change for better. So how about doing some work, something where effort and dedication is valued and treasured and results are not the decisive parameter? Will that generate interest and more importantly what work will that be? Can we afford to do something which takes out time of our hectic lives and return nothing? Why do we do these if we are not paid? In these times of socio-financial competition, where share markets are booming with public issues, where new firms are launched to generate more investments, where plans for retirements are big hits in young people, where offers are decided on basis of the zeros isn’t it a way of loosing the track, loosing focus and faltering when its times to move ahead?
During Bhagawad Gita days, it was
“Karmaneva Adikarasthe Mapaleshu Kadachana makarma phalehetubhoo masangostu akramani”
means “you have the power to act only, you do not have the power to influence the result, so work without anticipation of the result and without succumbing to inaction”
But how much do we care for these, and how much does this stand true in today’s world? What is the word “Karma” referred here or used in Karma Yoga prescribed by the Vedas relate to? Is it our job which though we don’t like but we do to and get paid to arrange means of life, or is it the work which interests us but doesn’t guarantee monetary benefits? If it is the Job we are doing in our daily monotonous life, then why are we all for better packages and bonuses, designations and positions?
Karma is the Work, we do (or don’t do) to revive our inner self. Too much simplified? I guess it is. It’s hard to put it into my words as many great preachers and real teachers have talked extensively about it and still left lot to ponder upon. Reviving ourselves or rejuvenating our senses or recharging our souls is as important as it is to live. Without that we would just survive through and die before our deaths. Bottomline is, we are not doing any work, and our job is only feeding out body. Our souls are starving!! Have you ever tried giving alms to a beggar? Many of us do and feel good about it. I remember when I was a kid, my grandma used to put a coin in my hand to give it to the beggar. Now I realize the reason behind. Certain small things give more pleasure than some big achievements.
That’s the crux which has given birth to so many spiritual leaders and subsequent institutions. They preach and teach the age old stuffs which we read but never learn which we listen but never practice. And we, till date who were only focused on achieving and conquering whatever came our way, busy in pushing our way to the top, engrossed in dissolving ourselves in earthly social things to become so-called successful, suddenly feel relaxed. We feel content and our senses start sensing more and we start smelling the flowers, enjoying the colors and feeling the air.
Focused in achieving and making life bigger we are missing the basic ingredients that can make our life better. Striving for earthly and materialistic success we are blinding us from the simple and pure beauty of life. Sometimes we are so much into achievements that anything less becomes a failure. Every time we fail, we aim again for higher goals and we are getting habituated to this achieve-all funda of life. In today’s world, success is judged by ones credentials, assets and achievements but not happiness. Interestingly, both are right, nothing is wrong, it just a perception to lead a happy life and to which every one of us have a right. However, having said all these, there is a bigger truth; happiness, self-content rises from bottom. So if the stomach is happy then only the heart can smile and mind can think to work.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
A trip to Chikmagalur in the Monsoons
Before we get down to the actuals of the trips, a bit of history...
Its been sometime that me and Tumpa went out for a trip, the last was in February 2008 when we went with Nimish to Coorg, and thankfully this year India's birthday was on Friday and that encouraged me to go out somewhere and spend some quality time out of the dust and dirt of Bangalore! So decided to take a day off on 14th to make the long weekend longer. Now to the easy part which apparently turned difficult - where to go !! Thought of going to Munnar/Ooty, it rains there when whole India is dry, so during monsoons its not a viable option. Next option was Cochin and thereabouts, but reports say this year monsoon is peaking in western ghats during Aug and that rules out my next option - Mangalore also.
Its monsoon time, so coastal India is not an option. Decided to go to hills, with some study we finalised Chikmagalur which is a good destination with lot of nearby falls, treks and temples. I was pretty sure to get a resort and that too cheap as this is off-season, but to my surprise, things were all sold out, so had to settle with Texwood Resort (though I would prefer to call it a homestay) for 14th and 15th and not 16th.
I would rate myself a good trip planner, normally have a big checklist and a small checklist to check the big one !! With maps and road directions and some tips from collegues and friends, I thought of driving there with Tumpa in our (till then) new Getz ! We did some small shopping, had an early dinner and slept off to start at 6 am sharp !
Day 1: Its 530 am as I woke up, and we actually did pretty well to start off at 610 am. Tooks oem cash for the road, and hit NH-4 by 630 am. This distance to Chikmagalur was 260 kms and from there Texwood was another 32 kms. With two 15 mins halt we reached Chikmagalur at around 1230 pm via NH4 (Neelamangala) >> NH48 (kunigal-charanayapatna-hassan) >> SH57 (Belur). Drive to Neelamangala was decent, somewhat like what we face in Bangalore but when we took NH48 life became easy and the drive became pleasant. There are road signs all through but hard part is to find them !! NH48 is a one-lane road but I was able to overtake and touch good speeds often as there is very less traffic. Its bit tricky to
find the SH57 for Belur from Hassan - we had to cross Hassan town and new roads are getting constructed there. However the road from Hassan to Belur was awesome. It was as good as any road in US if not better. I was able to touch 110 kph even 120 kph once. It was too scenic with marigold farms alongside with clouds kissing the hill tops in the background. From Chikmagalur town to the resort was a real bumpy ride with a slight drizzle and very less directions, traffic, people as well as mobile network. If you are lost, then you better be prepared. It was less of road, and more of potholes, with a noisy river flowing alongside. There 
were small mud slides with tree logs on the road. We kept driving on Mallundar road (that's what the resort guy told me to do) inside the Bhadra National Park for 40 mins before we actually saw a forest check post. We were pleased to see the Texwood Jeep waiting for us there. We parked the car in Bhadra National Park and took the jeep for another small 4km ride inside the forest which made the light of the previous treacherous roads. It was 240pm as we reached Texwood Resort, a coffee plantation estate resort. There was not much of a welcome, we dumped the luggage in the poolside (rainwater) cottage and came down for lunch. It was sambar and rasam at first sight, but there was some kababs and mutton curry to save us !! We stuffed ourselves to the limit and since it was still raining we thought of spending rest of the afternoon/evening inside - sleeping. after that we had some snakes with coffee as high tea and then after some rounds of carom and indoor badminton we were ready for dinner. I guessed we both were bored with the place, as there was very less activity to do.
Day 2 was no different, we woke up at 9 am , and it was still raining. The persistant rain and mist meant all the hikes and jeep ride to the falls and treks were ruled out. So after a decent breakfast, couple of cups of coffee and rounds of carom, we tried doing some bird-watching.
Must say, Tumpa has a good knack of finding small birds, insects and crawlers. I took out my SLR and tried to capture some of them. It was beautiful with clouds covering and uncovering the mountains. We also went for a small stroll and were able to spot some butterflies and some birds. We came back at 2 pm for lunch, and I was glad to see some groups coming in. I thought we were the only idiots to choose this resort that too in monsoons. After lunch (oh!! it was a red curry today, last day it was a green curry - 'm talking about the mutton gravy) the manager felt pity on us and promised to take us for fishing downhill at 4 pm. It was good experience as we 
boarded the jeep again and set off. Fishing was a good experience as the pond was filled with small fishes, we managed to catch 3 each and I was lucky enough to get a blood sucking leech bite - it feels good, donating blood without even feel the pinch !! we came back after a small hike to the resort where we had some chilli bajji and couple of cups of coffee. Nothing much to do, so had dinner after sometime and then went for sleep.
Day 3, we got up late as usual and took bath after 2 days, packed our dirty mud clad clothes, had a decent breakfast, cleared all bills and started off for the last jeep ride to the car park in Bhadra. Before that, Tumpa got a "Memory Stick" from the resort, it was a rose stem (stick) which she asked for and she took it Texwood memory !! It was 1130 am we started in our car, and we reached Belur at 215 pm with multiple photo breaks ! We stopped at a marigold farm, to click some pics, the caretake
r was gracious enough to let us in and give us some saplings to make Bangalore green and colorful. We next stopped at the Chennakesava Temple in Belur and spend some time in the temple premises as the Gods were having their mid-day nap. From there we started at 315 pm and reached Hassan at 4pm where we had our lunch. Tumpa wanted some non-veg stuffs but from belur to hassan there were hardly any place serving non-Veg except for the Bars ! We got on to the road for our final burst at 430 pm and reached the NH4 junction at 730pm. Rest 20 kms took another 1 hr. We were not aware if there are 
road signs while entering bangalore, luckily there were, and we reached home, much to the relief of my mom !!
When I was planning I couldn't find much info regarding Chikmagalur in monsoons, so thought of putting my experience on typing. It was a good trip, not suggested for trekkers, as it was very slippery and raining. However the drive to Chikmagalur is something great, even the beginners like me can do and enjoy!! As for the resort, there are many, there is a Taj Retreat, Nature Nirvana but even the small ones are also pretty decent, may be its the place and the mind which searches for peace !! Later someone told me that it didn't rain in Kerela that week... but still I would say, the grass was greener, the sky was whiter and the clouds were thicker in Chikmagalur !!
Its been sometime that me and Tumpa went out for a trip, the last was in February 2008 when we went with Nimish to Coorg, and thankfully this year India's birthday was on Friday and that encouraged me to go out somewhere and spend some quality time out of the dust and dirt of Bangalore! So decided to take a day off on 14th to make the long weekend longer. Now to the easy part which apparently turned difficult - where to go !! Thought of going to Munnar/Ooty, it rains there when whole India is dry, so during monsoons its not a viable option. Next option was Cochin and thereabouts, but reports say this year monsoon is peaking in western ghats during Aug and that rules out my next option - Mangalore also.
Its monsoon time, so coastal India is not an option. Decided to go to hills, with some study we finalised Chikmagalur which is a good destination with lot of nearby falls, treks and temples. I was pretty sure to get a resort and that too cheap as this is off-season, but to my surprise, things were all sold out, so had to settle with Texwood Resort (though I would prefer to call it a homestay) for 14th and 15th and not 16th.
I would rate myself a good trip planner, normally have a big checklist and a small checklist to check the big one !! With maps and road directions and some tips from collegues and friends, I thought of driving there with Tumpa in our (till then) new Getz ! We did some small shopping, had an early dinner and slept off to start at 6 am sharp !
Day 1: Its 530 am as I woke up, and we actually did pretty well to start off at 610 am. Tooks oem cash for the road, and hit NH-4 by 630 am. This distance to Chikmagalur was 260 kms and from there Texwood was another 32 kms. With two 15 mins halt we reached Chikmagalur at around 1230 pm via NH4 (Neelamangala) >> NH48 (kunigal-charanayapatna-hassan) >> SH57 (Belur). Drive to Neelamangala was decent, somewhat like what we face in Bangalore but when we took NH48 life became easy and the drive became pleasant. There are road signs all through but hard part is to find them !! NH48 is a one-lane road but I was able to overtake and touch good speeds often as there is very less traffic. Its bit tricky to
find the SH57 for Belur from Hassan - we had to cross Hassan town and new roads are getting constructed there. However the road from Hassan to Belur was awesome. It was as good as any road in US if not better. I was able to touch 110 kph even 120 kph once. It was too scenic with marigold farms alongside with clouds kissing the hill tops in the background. From Chikmagalur town to the resort was a real bumpy ride with a slight drizzle and very less directions, traffic, people as well as mobile network. If you are lost, then you better be prepared. It was less of road, and more of potholes, with a noisy river flowing alongside. There 
were small mud slides with tree logs on the road. We kept driving on Mallundar road (that's what the resort guy told me to do) inside the Bhadra National Park for 40 mins before we actually saw a forest check post. We were pleased to see the Texwood Jeep waiting for us there. We parked the car in Bhadra National Park and took the jeep for another small 4km ride inside the forest which made the light of the previous treacherous roads. It was 240pm as we reached Texwood Resort, a coffee plantation estate resort. There was not much of a welcome, we dumped the luggage in the poolside (rainwater) cottage and came down for lunch. It was sambar and rasam at first sight, but there was some kababs and mutton curry to save us !! We stuffed ourselves to the limit and since it was still raining we thought of spending rest of the afternoon/evening inside - sleeping. after that we had some snakes with coffee as high tea and then after some rounds of carom and indoor badminton we were ready for dinner. I guessed we both were bored with the place, as there was very less activity to do.Day 2 was no different, we woke up at 9 am , and it was still raining. The persistant rain and mist meant all the hikes and jeep ride to the falls and treks were ruled out. So after a decent breakfast, couple of cups of coffee and rounds of carom, we tried doing some bird-watching.
Must say, Tumpa has a good knack of finding small birds, insects and crawlers. I took out my SLR and tried to capture some of them. It was beautiful with clouds covering and uncovering the mountains. We also went for a small stroll and were able to spot some butterflies and some birds. We came back at 2 pm for lunch, and I was glad to see some groups coming in. I thought we were the only idiots to choose this resort that too in monsoons. After lunch (oh!! it was a red curry today, last day it was a green curry - 'm talking about the mutton gravy) the manager felt pity on us and promised to take us for fishing downhill at 4 pm. It was good experience as we 
boarded the jeep again and set off. Fishing was a good experience as the pond was filled with small fishes, we managed to catch 3 each and I was lucky enough to get a blood sucking leech bite - it feels good, donating blood without even feel the pinch !! we came back after a small hike to the resort where we had some chilli bajji and couple of cups of coffee. Nothing much to do, so had dinner after sometime and then went for sleep. 
Day 3, we got up late as usual and took bath after 2 days, packed our dirty mud clad clothes, had a decent breakfast, cleared all bills and started off for the last jeep ride to the car park in Bhadra. Before that, Tumpa got a "Memory Stick" from the resort, it was a rose stem (stick) which she asked for and she took it Texwood memory !! It was 1130 am we started in our car, and we reached Belur at 215 pm with multiple photo breaks ! We stopped at a marigold farm, to click some pics, the caretake
r was gracious enough to let us in and give us some saplings to make Bangalore green and colorful. We next stopped at the Chennakesava Temple in Belur and spend some time in the temple premises as the Gods were having their mid-day nap. From there we started at 315 pm and reached Hassan at 4pm where we had our lunch. Tumpa wanted some non-veg stuffs but from belur to hassan there were hardly any place serving non-Veg except for the Bars ! We got on to the road for our final burst at 430 pm and reached the NH4 junction at 730pm. Rest 20 kms took another 1 hr. We were not aware if there are 
road signs while entering bangalore, luckily there were, and we reached home, much to the relief of my mom !!
When I was planning I couldn't find much info regarding Chikmagalur in monsoons, so thought of putting my experience on typing. It was a good trip, not suggested for trekkers, as it was very slippery and raining. However the drive to Chikmagalur is something great, even the beginners like me can do and enjoy!! As for the resort, there are many, there is a Taj Retreat, Nature Nirvana but even the small ones are also pretty decent, may be its the place and the mind which searches for peace !! Later someone told me that it didn't rain in Kerela that week... but still I would say, the grass was greener, the sky was whiter and the clouds were thicker in Chikmagalur !!
School Days - Purano Sei Diner Katha
Its like a song which remains uncluttered, fresh, soulful even today after 28 odd years.
Still remember my kindergarden days, when meso (my uncle, Hari meso) used to drop me off to the NorthEast Point KG School on his cycle and the whole day I used to cry in school. Couldnt figure out the reason till this day. My best friend those days were Bikram ( the kid with a flowing nose :-)). For a Saraswati Puja in the school, I was dressed in all white and I fell into the drain (yaa, we had open drains !!) - next time I attened a school saraswati puja was after 12 yrs.
Holy Cross Days
Close to a year in that school, I was got admission in Holy Cross School (HCS), which was the one of the best (if not the best; atleast those day or atleast thats what was told to me) English Medium School in Agartala. Though I don't remember (I was 5 yrs then) I guess I was preety excited as we had to go to school by school-bus (Gloria, one of the 6 buses from HCS). That's quite a transistion from sitting on the front rod of a cycle !! Dada and Chumkidi (my cousin sister) were already studying in HCS. From KG1 to Grade 2 it was morning shifts (catch the bus at 715 am and then come back home at 1130) and from Grade 3 it was afternoon shift (1030 am to 410 pm). I was never the studious types but was not that bad also. I was more naughty than most guys in the class. Dada and chumkidi used to check me about my day during the changeover of shifts. Later in the afternoon shifts, it was more fun, was in the big league though was the most junior bunch. I was good in Science subjects and scrored a consistant D in Moral Science, never knew the whole of India is also poor in that. Even my poor marks seems to teach me more morality than most Indians. That might also have something to do with my upbringing at home. I have realised off late that I tend to remember non-consequal thing from past and those are so vivid, that amazes me also. As for instance, I was talking to one of my school friend and I happened trace most of my classmates, where they used to sit and with whom in class 3. Nothing great in that, just that the moment has been immortalised forever. My acheivements in HCS had been most of notorious ones. I was made to stand out of the class for 4 periods by Joseph Thomas, he was my class teacher in 4th. It was deserving but was bit too harsh for a kid. Same year, I had more acheivements of such kind. Pelted stones at juniors during lunch break for capturing field for playing, where one guy got hurt on his head, needed 4 stitches. Felt so bad that I walked in to the Rev. Father's room the next day and confessed though no one knew who threw it. I walked out proud and happy as I saved myself from a suspension from school. Few months later I reached another low point of my life, when I eloped from school and came home with my friends. Courtesy those friends, I touched my lowest, taking a puff of cigarattee but couldnt stop coughing in Class 4. Swear words were a part of my vocabulary. Dada used to say that they were not my friends but I thought otherwise. It didnt take much time to realise how wrong I was. Those incidents, and other circumstances made my parents decide that I need to be put under close supervision. So after Class 5, I moved to a school near to our house. It was Shishu Bihar School, only English Medium School under Tripura Board. Dada by that time also moved out form HCS to Netaji Subhas Vidhyaniketan, the best Bengali Medium School in Agartala. The transfer was also aided by the fact that its easier to score in Tripura Board and the course structure was familiar. On the last day of HCS, one of my friend told "tui thakos amrar laage kintu result ta bhala kaira laas" (you stay with us, but score good marks). This is significant, as of the 5 guys who was with me, 3 has been lost on oblivion, 1 is struggling and the other one is writing all these. I carried memories of some nice faces and some good people and a vast experience of the what "bad boys" do !! and stepped in Shishu Bihar School (SBS).
Shishu Bihar Days
SBS was no compare to HCS on asthetics. Classrooms had a depleted look with algaes on walls, the school dress (white shirt and maroon pants) was made to make guys look funny. There was no hard dress code, people used to wear slippers to school, sometimes without ties. HCS students were dressed far better. Coming to the students, there were kids from all spheres of life, very unlike HCS where I beleive the upper middle class could afford and that was predominant. However, in SBS all these things were superficial, what was within was a amalgam of some very good teachers (??) and some really smart students. Class 6 was the time when students moved in SBS from HCS and other from non-TBSE school. So I had company of few new guys. The first real impression I created was after the mid terms, when I scored good marks in Science and Maths. Because of the new environment, I went into a shell during that time. The HCS vibes were making the seniors look novice in using swear words. Gradually I came out of the shell and by class 8, I was again one of the naughty ones. I used to play decent football with water bottles, and was consistantly performing in Science subjects. One interesting incident was when I cried in the class - reason : someone (satyajit) took my book and passed it to the girls side, and I was helpless, could not talk to girls and I cried out of sheer helplessness. Though I was not crying but tears rolled down. So life was good then. Then came Class 9; everyone was excited as girls got to wear sarees and guys full pants - a big releif from displaying the thunder and hairy thighs. Yes till 8th we were in shorts ! With it came the pressure of performing - my elder brother did fantabulous in whatever he apperared. He went into BITS, Pilani. Guys and teacher started asking me, "What are you doing here?" I have faced this question in all phase of my acedemics. I felt good about it. I felt proud about it. It was then, when I was stuck by one beautiful face - monalisa. But soon reality put off the flame as she was of different caste, so i didnt approach (smart thinking as I sensed the hardship in the process). I was left admiring her for the next 3 yrs without any communication until my mother sensed it. 9th and 10th was my glorious years - stood 2nd in RMO and 9th in TMO and got top marks in HS exams in Sceince stream. I stood 6th in the class where 5 from my class got state honors. But my curve dipped drastically as I went into class 12. I stood a poor 25th in class. Science which was once my strongest point was now my low scoring area (not weak link). A timely intervention from maa saved the day for me. Its funny as I write today, but those things did pull me down more than pushing me up. I used to sing while reading, write names all places, bunk tutorial classes, bunked classes. My parents and dada were very concerned with my dip as were my teachers but no one figured out the problem. Thanks to maa, she got to find me writing "M" and after that it was confession time. She put on all the screws on and I was somewhat back on track. It was a shame. I regrouped to secure a good rank in Entrance exams. When I look back, it nice to come out of that, but that face still shines bright. Have seen her couple of times after that but the the image was burried somewhere within.
Still remember my kindergarden days, when meso (my uncle, Hari meso) used to drop me off to the NorthEast Point KG School on his cycle and the whole day I used to cry in school. Couldnt figure out the reason till this day. My best friend those days were Bikram ( the kid with a flowing nose :-)). For a Saraswati Puja in the school, I was dressed in all white and I fell into the drain (yaa, we had open drains !!) - next time I attened a school saraswati puja was after 12 yrs.
Holy Cross Days
Close to a year in that school, I was got admission in Holy Cross School (HCS), which was the one of the best (if not the best; atleast those day or atleast thats what was told to me) English Medium School in Agartala. Though I don't remember (I was 5 yrs then) I guess I was preety excited as we had to go to school by school-bus (Gloria, one of the 6 buses from HCS). That's quite a transistion from sitting on the front rod of a cycle !! Dada and Chumkidi (my cousin sister) were already studying in HCS. From KG1 to Grade 2 it was morning shifts (catch the bus at 715 am and then come back home at 1130) and from Grade 3 it was afternoon shift (1030 am to 410 pm). I was never the studious types but was not that bad also. I was more naughty than most guys in the class. Dada and chumkidi used to check me about my day during the changeover of shifts. Later in the afternoon shifts, it was more fun, was in the big league though was the most junior bunch. I was good in Science subjects and scrored a consistant D in Moral Science, never knew the whole of India is also poor in that. Even my poor marks seems to teach me more morality than most Indians. That might also have something to do with my upbringing at home. I have realised off late that I tend to remember non-consequal thing from past and those are so vivid, that amazes me also. As for instance, I was talking to one of my school friend and I happened trace most of my classmates, where they used to sit and with whom in class 3. Nothing great in that, just that the moment has been immortalised forever. My acheivements in HCS had been most of notorious ones. I was made to stand out of the class for 4 periods by Joseph Thomas, he was my class teacher in 4th. It was deserving but was bit too harsh for a kid. Same year, I had more acheivements of such kind. Pelted stones at juniors during lunch break for capturing field for playing, where one guy got hurt on his head, needed 4 stitches. Felt so bad that I walked in to the Rev. Father's room the next day and confessed though no one knew who threw it. I walked out proud and happy as I saved myself from a suspension from school. Few months later I reached another low point of my life, when I eloped from school and came home with my friends. Courtesy those friends, I touched my lowest, taking a puff of cigarattee but couldnt stop coughing in Class 4. Swear words were a part of my vocabulary. Dada used to say that they were not my friends but I thought otherwise. It didnt take much time to realise how wrong I was. Those incidents, and other circumstances made my parents decide that I need to be put under close supervision. So after Class 5, I moved to a school near to our house. It was Shishu Bihar School, only English Medium School under Tripura Board. Dada by that time also moved out form HCS to Netaji Subhas Vidhyaniketan, the best Bengali Medium School in Agartala. The transfer was also aided by the fact that its easier to score in Tripura Board and the course structure was familiar. On the last day of HCS, one of my friend told "tui thakos amrar laage kintu result ta bhala kaira laas" (you stay with us, but score good marks). This is significant, as of the 5 guys who was with me, 3 has been lost on oblivion, 1 is struggling and the other one is writing all these. I carried memories of some nice faces and some good people and a vast experience of the what "bad boys" do !! and stepped in Shishu Bihar School (SBS).
Shishu Bihar Days
SBS was no compare to HCS on asthetics. Classrooms had a depleted look with algaes on walls, the school dress (white shirt and maroon pants) was made to make guys look funny. There was no hard dress code, people used to wear slippers to school, sometimes without ties. HCS students were dressed far better. Coming to the students, there were kids from all spheres of life, very unlike HCS where I beleive the upper middle class could afford and that was predominant. However, in SBS all these things were superficial, what was within was a amalgam of some very good teachers (??) and some really smart students. Class 6 was the time when students moved in SBS from HCS and other from non-TBSE school. So I had company of few new guys. The first real impression I created was after the mid terms, when I scored good marks in Science and Maths. Because of the new environment, I went into a shell during that time. The HCS vibes were making the seniors look novice in using swear words. Gradually I came out of the shell and by class 8, I was again one of the naughty ones. I used to play decent football with water bottles, and was consistantly performing in Science subjects. One interesting incident was when I cried in the class - reason : someone (satyajit) took my book and passed it to the girls side, and I was helpless, could not talk to girls and I cried out of sheer helplessness. Though I was not crying but tears rolled down. So life was good then. Then came Class 9; everyone was excited as girls got to wear sarees and guys full pants - a big releif from displaying the thunder and hairy thighs. Yes till 8th we were in shorts ! With it came the pressure of performing - my elder brother did fantabulous in whatever he apperared. He went into BITS, Pilani. Guys and teacher started asking me, "What are you doing here?" I have faced this question in all phase of my acedemics. I felt good about it. I felt proud about it. It was then, when I was stuck by one beautiful face - monalisa. But soon reality put off the flame as she was of different caste, so i didnt approach (smart thinking as I sensed the hardship in the process). I was left admiring her for the next 3 yrs without any communication until my mother sensed it. 9th and 10th was my glorious years - stood 2nd in RMO and 9th in TMO and got top marks in HS exams in Sceince stream. I stood 6th in the class where 5 from my class got state honors. But my curve dipped drastically as I went into class 12. I stood a poor 25th in class. Science which was once my strongest point was now my low scoring area (not weak link). A timely intervention from maa saved the day for me. Its funny as I write today, but those things did pull me down more than pushing me up. I used to sing while reading, write names all places, bunk tutorial classes, bunked classes. My parents and dada were very concerned with my dip as were my teachers but no one figured out the problem. Thanks to maa, she got to find me writing "M" and after that it was confession time. She put on all the screws on and I was somewhat back on track. It was a shame. I regrouped to secure a good rank in Entrance exams. When I look back, it nice to come out of that, but that face still shines bright. Have seen her couple of times after that but the the image was burried somewhere within.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Who is Subhranil
Subhranil, that's what I am called. Some call me Binny, some call me by other dereivatives of these, viz. Subbu, Subhs, Sub, Deb, Binu... though I like myself to be called as "Binny". I am from Agartala, the capital city of Tripura (the 3rd smallest state of India). Its a nice, small city, surrounded by small hills which shares more international borders than national borders and where everyone knows everyone. Born one day before the longest day of the year, I am like any other Ram or Shyam or a Mike or Tom who crosses you everyday. So if you are looking for some thrills, some excitement, some romance some tragedy or some action then you have searched for a wrong person. However, I had/have my share of joy and sorrow, highs and lows - good part is that joy is leading sorrow. And it will continue to be like this...
I did my Graduation from REC Jalandhar in Electronics and Communication Engg in 2001. That was the last degree I set out for, though my head feels I am good for a Masters but somewhere the urge was missing and sad part is its still missing. Got a job in Wipro Technologies, Bangalore through campus but joined in July of 2002. I waited for more than an year with a offer letter in hand and the slowdown in sight. That was the worst time of my life. After working, enjoying 5 years in Wipro, I switched to Synopsys, an US MNC based in Bangalore. Had a stint of 2 years in US from Wipro. I finished my schooling in Agartala from Shishu Bihar School and initial years in Holy Cross School.
From every phase of my life, I have some great people who have been with me all through apart from my family. We are a great family, very less show off, but lotsa of honesty and modesty and love. Have few friends from school days, six more got added from college days and couple more from Wipro Days. Its a small list but a very strongly bonded. Got married in Dec of 2007 and it has been a great till now. Not only surviving but living every moment of it !!
"Strive to make life better and not bigger" - Anonymous
I did my Graduation from REC Jalandhar in Electronics and Communication Engg in 2001. That was the last degree I set out for, though my head feels I am good for a Masters but somewhere the urge was missing and sad part is its still missing. Got a job in Wipro Technologies, Bangalore through campus but joined in July of 2002. I waited for more than an year with a offer letter in hand and the slowdown in sight. That was the worst time of my life. After working, enjoying 5 years in Wipro, I switched to Synopsys, an US MNC based in Bangalore. Had a stint of 2 years in US from Wipro. I finished my schooling in Agartala from Shishu Bihar School and initial years in Holy Cross School.
From every phase of my life, I have some great people who have been with me all through apart from my family. We are a great family, very less show off, but lotsa of honesty and modesty and love. Have few friends from school days, six more got added from college days and couple more from Wipro Days. Its a small list but a very strongly bonded. Got married in Dec of 2007 and it has been a great till now. Not only surviving but living every moment of it !!
"Strive to make life better and not bigger" - Anonymous
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